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Da New Commandments (courtesy of Ali G - apparently):

 1) I iz da macdaddy, who iz taken u out of the county of Berkshire, u iz

 all me hoes, an if u iz up 4 it me is well into bondage.

 2) Westside.

 3) Do not dis Tupac.

 4) Remeber every second Friday in every moth coz dat iz when me hold de

 jungle all-nita at de Crooked Billet in Iver Heath - 5 squid on da door,

 first 1000 ladies free.

 5) Respec your Nan.

 6) Thou shalt not do drive-bys.

 7) Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless she iz well fit).

 8) Thou shalt not deal.

 9) Thou shalt not wear false titties.

 10) Thou shalt not cover up thy batty (unless you iz a man or you iz a

 minger).

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