Shark Attacks
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Birmuda, an imaginary island location that exists only in the minds of the truly deranged.  We welcome you. is the web site for Birmuda, featuring a wide variety of information about Birmuda.  The site is NOT about Bermuda.  If you have found this site through an inability to spell Bermuda, it is quite likely you are also stupid enough to believe Bermuda is in the Caribbean.  It is not.  Bermuda is in the North Atlantic Ocean, east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina. The group consists of approximately 150 small islands, islets, and rocks, of which about 20 are inhabited. Bermuda is the largest. Hamilton is the capital, chief port.  The total area of the Bermuda Islands is 53 sq km (20.6 sq mi). The population is about 60,000

if you require information about the Bermuda police, crime or narcotics in Bermuda, please click here:, in addition to supplying information about Birmuda, believes it is their moral responsibility to direct visitors to the topical islands of the Caribbean and ensure they are not disappointed by a semi-tropical collection of rocks (coral); Bermuda.

This site provides in-depth information about ignorance.  However, in Birmuda no one would let the likes of Tony Brannon’s attempt to pursue the post of  Tourism Minister.  If such an appalling situation were to arise, we would immediately direct visitors to, as an example, Barbados.

This is a public service site; Birmuda is a haven for those dealing in narcotics.  The criminal justice system is ineffectual and crime is rife. We don't want you on our island, take your money elsewhere.


Mr Satire, owner of this site, explains, “ provides great exposure to those who really want nothing to do with Birmuda.  Any company from the Caribbean can put a direct link from their own websites to We will reciprocate.

If potential visitors are looking for information on Bermuda, they will be directed to uk.”  This site’s major strong point is its name. “In the minds of the illiterate, keyboard-challenged and downright stupid, we have the country domain name. This is the first site that the world comes to when looking for information on Birmuda. The country domain ‘’ is crucial”. has far too many “hits” (online visits) each day, and could bring a great deal of business to its clients. “Our clients are our only assets,” Satire says. He adds, “Birmuda is not very advanced. We have an unprofessional infrastructure and are hardly wired for e-commerce.” will offer links to a number of online shopping sites.

Satire says he hopes his site will support the continued growth of the Caribbean's tourism industry. also contains extensive information for visitors on top attractions in the country; easy to report on as there’s bugger all here.  As well as practical information and links to other tourism-related sites in the Caribbean, Satire adds, “I want to represent Birmuda as best as I can. … as the place only exists in the minds of the simple, this should not prove overly challenging”. and are registered trade marks of absolutely no one.




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IMPORTANT NOTICE: has taken reasonable care in sourcing and presenting the information contained on this site, but accepts no responsibility for any financial or other loss or damage that may result from its use. is not an official or authorised Bermuda police web site.